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HARLAN, Ky. — Politicians are known for lame jokes. But when Otis "Bullman" Hensley tried a generations-old Appalachian jest on a woman and two girls at the grocery store, the family thought it was downright criminal. [. . .] He could have faced as many as 10 years in prison, but a charge of attempted unlawful transaction with a minor was dismissed on Monday. The ordeal began last week when Hensley's wife sent him to a local grocery store to buy ground beef. While there, Hensley encountered a woman with her two nieces, ages 11 and 13. "I offered to...

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HONOLULU (Reuters) - Barack Obama's presidential campaign said on Thursday a potential hike in payroll taxes for wealthy Americans under an Obama administration would not occur for 10 years while taxes on dividends and capital gains would be capped at 20 percent. The new details, laid out in an opinion piece by the Illinois senator's advisers and on a conference call with reporters, added specificity to a key economic policy area that has drawn criticism from Republican presidential rival John McCain and Wall Street. Obama previously had not given a timeline for a plan he says he would consider to...

PARIS — Georgia has filed a lawsuit against Russia at the International Court of Justice in The Hague for its actions in and around the territory of Georgia from 1991 to 2008, the court said in a statement.

Democrat-ran New Orleans floods out, big humanitarian disaster, and Republicans are blamed. Liberal social policies have Democratic-ran California near bankruptcy and overran with illegal aliens and gangs, but they continue to vote Democratic. Michigan is a Democratic state whose economy is in the dumper. Texas, Oklahoma, and Tennessee, just to name a few Republican-dominated states, are enjoying prosperity, but miserable Michigan residents still blame President Bush. I don't understand it. This old e-mail joke offers an explanation: A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat...

Breaking news about breaking wind: the world's oldest joke is a one-liner about flatulence, researchers say. Academics have compiled a list of the most ancient gags and the oldest, harking back to 1900BC, is a Sumerian proverb from what is now southern Iraq. "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap," goes the joke. Randy pharaohs, thirsty ox-drivers and barbers also feature in the list. The oldest British joke dates back to the 10th Century, and uses the traditional question and answer format to suggestively poke fun at Anglo-Saxon men....

UNITED NATIONS - A Swiss-led, five-nation panel proposed Thursday that the United Nations assert itself as leader of a global fight against terrorism and establish a new agency or program to coordinate that effort. U.N. ambassadors from Costa Rica, Japan, Slovakia, Switzerland and Turkey suggested that the U.N. General Assembly create an agency for counterterrorism along the lines of the U.N.'s nuclear watchdog, the International Atomic Energy Agency. It also recommended that the U.N. assist counterterrorism officials from individual nations in promoting "a human rights-based approach to counterterrorism" that disdains torture and preserves prisoners' rights. snip But the panel pointed...

Boehner calls Dems' energy bill 'joke' U.S. House Minority Leader John Boehner Thursday called the Democrats' efforts to free up the strategic oil reserve a joke. At his weekly news conference, Boehner, R-Ohio, said Democrats have been making one excuse after another for why we can't have more American-made energy. Boehner, fresh from trips to Colorado to inspect oil shale reserves and Alaska where he looked at conditions in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, said tapping those reserves would not lead to environmental catastrophe. The only people standing in the way of this are (House Speaker) Nancy Pelosi, (Senate Majority...

What's so funny about Barack Obama? Apparently not very much, at least not yet. On Monday, The New Yorker magazine tried dipping its toe into broad satire involving Senator Obama with a cover image depicting the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee and his wife, Michelle, as fist-bumping, flag-burning, bin Laden-loving terrorists in the Oval Office. The response from both Democrats and Republicans was explosive. Comedy has been no easier for the phalanx of late-night television hosts who depend on skewering political leaders for a healthy quotient of their nightly monologues. Jay Leno, David Letterman, Conan O'Brien and others have delivered a...

Sounds like a plan to me.

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"I'm getting 100 miles to the ounce on water," inventor Anthony Brown said. Brown said he shut his fuel injection system down and created the system that can use any type of water with a small amount of gas. He said the car is getting just fuel vapor.

NEW YORK: John Kerry, who suffered defeat at the hands of President George Bush in last US elections, now harbours aspiration to become Secretary of State if presumptive Democratic nominee Barack Obama wins the race to the White House in November. Kerry, who is the third ranking Democrat on the Foreign Relations Committee, is keen to be nation's top diplomat but does not eye the bigger prize of vice-presidency, Newsweek on Sunday quoted an unidentified source close to him as saying. That could also well be the case for Connecticut Senator Christopher Dodd, the committee's second-ranking Democrat and for Senator...

Bo (woof) In Commentary: So I had to go the vet the other day for an embarrassing situation. Here’s exactly what happened… “So what’s the problem, Bo?” the vet asked. “I’ve been farting a lot. I mean I fart all the time,” I tell her. She just nods, encouraging me to talk some more. So I continue, “Luckily, my farts don’t stink and you can’t hear them. It’s just that I can’t stop it. Look, we’ve been talking here for about 10 minutes and I’ve farted five times. You didn’t hear them and you didn’t smell them, did you?” She...

Here’s a quick joke for you all… Mahtin goes to pick up his date for the evening. She’s not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents. He has a bad case of gas and really needs to relieve some pressure. Luckily, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it. He farts, and the woman yells, “Shep, get down from there.” The guy thinks..(con't @http://boknowsonline.com/2008/03/08/fahtin-mahtin/)

The Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­ At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear ' the rules' From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... These are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you...

London Mayor Ken Livingstone faces controversy today after it emerged he made a joke about Muslims in a magazine interview. Mr Livingstone was asked by a journalist to tell a joke and responded with a story that name-checked Satanic Verses author Salman Rushdie, Yasser Arafat and Shia Muslims in general. According to today's Evening Standard, Mr Livingstone made the joke during his first mayoral campaign in 2000 in an interview for the now-defunct magazine The Face. Journalist Alex Needham asked him: "Can you tell us a joke?" The then independent candidate responded with a gag in decidedly dubious taste. "Salman...

The Bear & The Pope The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains of Alaska for some sight-seeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" hat, and a "To Hell with Bush" T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10 foot grizzly bear. As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a .44...

Centerville, Ga - The small community of Centerville has a population of just over 5000 people. But with a total of 48 Presbyterian Churches, they also hold the record for the most number of Presbyterian Churches in a small town. The high number of churches has to do with multiple splits that have taken place over the years because of one issue or another. Originally, in 1899, only one Presbyterian church existed, simply known as "Centerville Presbyterian Church." With about 20 families, the church was, at that time, the largest in the Centerville area. By 1911 the church had grown...

Butch John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets', and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs. The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report...

Everybody likes "free" money. So it's no wonder that President Bush's plan to give up to $1,200 per family to taxpayers to get the economy moving again will sail through Congress. The logic seems compelling: We face a looming recession because the consumer isn't spending. Give 'em some money to spend! The president's team is hailing the plan as a cheap $150 billion shot in the arm that will check the downturn and get the economy rolling again. Do you mind if I'm blunt and say that this is the stupidest, most wasteful, and least effective idea possible to reverse...

Greeley businessman apologized Wednesday after a joke about Illinois Sen. Barack Obama fell flat during the National Western Stock Show's annual Citizen of the West banquet. William R. Farr was pretending to read telegrams congratulating this year's award recipient, University of Colorado President Hank Brown, when he pulled out a piece of paper and said, "I have a telegram from the White House."

A Greeley businessman apologized Wednesday after a joke about Illinois Sen. Barack Obama fell flat during the National Western Stock Show's annual Citizen of the West banquet. William R. Farr was pretending to read telegrams congratulating this year's award recipient, University of Colorado President Hank Brown, when he pulled out a piece of paper and said, "I have a telegram from the White House."...

Add Keith Olbermann to the list of MSNBC hosts offended by one of the best-received applause lines of Thursday's GOP debate on FNC. On Friday's Countdown, the same day that Hardball's Chris Matthews compared Mike Huckabee's words regarding the U.S. military defending itself from Iran to "talking like jihadists," Olbermann named Fred Thompson "Worst Person in the World" contending that the GOP presidential candidate had "pulled another whopper" because the former Senator joked that Iranian military members on speed boats who harassed U.S. Navy warships came close to meeting "those virgins that they're looking forward to seeing." Olbermann further mocked Thompson...

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: 'I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in...

Note: On Friday's edition of TBNN we will present the views of the top Republican candidates.It is no secret who the top to contenders are for the Democratic nomination. Since the beginning of the Presidential campaign, Senators Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama have dominated the news. For both candidates, a White House win would mean a history-making first for the United States, Clinton being the first woman president, Obama being the first African-American to hold the office. Current polls show both candidates running neck-in-neck with one another, and both candidates are realizing that in order to win the nomination they...

Chelsea Clinton visited Iraq and asked a soldier aren't you scared working here? He replies, this is my job it doesn't scare me..Only three things scare me Osama, Obama, and your Mama..:)

A director of Barclaycard has left the company in disgrace after making a joke deemed offensive to Muslims. Marc Howells, 42, who earned £200,000 a year, was addressing senior executives about the credit card company's quarterly figures when he tried to make them laugh with the quip. Mr Howells said: "The results were like Muslims - some were good, some were Shi'ite." Some outraged colleagues forced embarrassed laughs while others were stunned into silence, but Mr Howells seemed unaware of causing any offence. His pun was later reported to senior management, however, and after some discussion he left the company...

WASHINGTON - The energy bill President Bush signed last week mandating tougher fuel-economy standards sent a simple message to automakers: lighten up. ADVERTISEMENT The new rules certainly give makers of aluminum, carbon fiber and other lightweight materials something to smile about, analysts say, though the steel industry's piece of the auto-industry pie is likely to shrink.

SALT LAKE CITY — The producers of a Mormon version of the popular "Bachelor" television program were dealt a rude surprise when their lead man got down on his knee and proposed to all six finalists. "I couldn't make up my mind," said Larry Whistall, 29, the bachelor. "I realized they all had good qualities, so I went the polygamy route." Five of the six women said yes, and now say they look forward to moving to rural Utah and bearing Whistall as many children as physically possible. And in-fighting? Not a problem, they claim. "Me and the other women...

LINCOLN, Neb. -- Bo Pelini is the new coach at Nebraska, leaving the defensive coordinator post at LSU for a job many Cornhusker fans thought he should have been given four years ago. Interim athletic director and former coach Tom Osborne announced Pelini's hiring Sunday, after introducing him to the players. "We need a head coach with strong defensive credentials and great leadership," Osborne said. "We were also looking for someone who can inspire confidence and get players to play with great effort. "And, of course, we also wanted our new head coach to understand our traditions, including the importance...

In the 10 years of the BCS era, we've seen pretty much everything. Perhaps the only major development we've yet to see is a two-loss team in the BCS Championship Game. Later today, that one should become a reality. The million-dollar question is: Which two-loss team will it be? Jim Tressel has watched as other teams have helped Ohio State's title cause. At least seven teams, including once-beaten Ohio State and Kansas, are likely to receive second-place votes in the polls. If the voters rank teams based on perceived strength (who would win on a neutral field), any number of...

Representing the congressional district of San Francisco, Nancy Pelosi last year became the first woman speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives—the highest-ranking woman in government. Known for her energy, passion, and ambition, Pelosi, 67, established herself as a Democratic leader in Congress by promoting women's health, stem cell research, workers' rights, and the expansion of educational opportunities. A native of Maryland, she grew up surrounded by strong leaders—namely, her father, a former mayor of Baltimore. U.S. News's Danielle Knight recently asked Pelosi about the challenges faced by women leaders. Excerpts: I wasn't elected speaker because I'm a woman, but...

Sunnyvale, California - The Internet "giant" Yahoo has recently come under fire by former Pensacola Christian College students who say they were "turned in" to the school's administration for maintaining an online forum which discussed and supported Reformed doctrine. "We feel betrayed" said former student Mark Hudson. Hudson, along with seven other students were recently asked to leave the school after the administration discovered that they were secretly maintaining the web forum. The site, called "The Calvinist Underground" was frequented by a number of "closet Calvinists" at many Independent Fundamentalist Schools around the country. The site often contained frustrations expressed...

SPEAKING of jobs, Dennis Franchione, how'd you like the one Oklahoma did Saturday when it waxed your Texas A&M football team? Sooners 42, Aggies 14. Not a bad night's work, huh, Dennis?

This is an article on MSNBC about Clinton's leadership style. Honestly, you gotta wonder about the credibility of a news writer who bases Clinton's skill as a boss on things like this: "Over the years, Mrs. Clinton has won a reputation as a good boss. She is diligent about remembering birthdays and doing things like calling her Senate scheduler, Lona Valmoro, to offer condolences after her dachshund, Largo, was run over by a car."

The Norwegian Nobel Committee has decided that the Nobel Peace Prize for 2007 is to be shared, in two equal parts, between the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) and Albert Arnold (Al) Gore Jr. for their efforts to build up and disseminate greater knowledge about man-made climate change, and to lay the foundations for the measures that are needed to counteract such change. Indications of changes in the earth's future climate must be treated with the utmost seriousness, and with the precautionary principle uppermost in our minds. Extensive climate changes may alter and threaten the living conditions of much...

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu... Broiled Missionary: $10.00 Fried Explorer: $15.00 Grilled Republican: $100.00 Baked Democrat: $100.00 The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, 'Why such a price difference for the Politicians?' The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of crap, it takes all morning.

I'm retired and the other day I went down town. I was in a shop for about 5 minutes, and when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I said to him, "Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a "Nazi." He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a "doughnut eating Gestapo." He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third...

A study funded by the US government has concluded that conservatism can be explained psychologically as a set of neuroses rooted in "fear and aggression, dogmatism and the intolerance of ambiguity". As if that was not enough to get Republican blood boiling, the report's four authors linked Hitler, Mussolini, Ronald Reagan and the rightwing talkshow host, Rush Limbaugh, arguing they all suffered from the same affliction. All of them "preached a return to an idealised past and condoned inequality". Republicans are demanding to know why the psychologists behind the report, Political Conservatism as Motivated Social Cognition, received $1.2m in public...

US comedian Jerry Lewis apologised today for his use of an anti-gay slur during the weekend broadcast of his annual Labor Day Telethon for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. The controversial remark came yesterday in the 18th hour of the live national telecast, when a visibly weary Lewis, 81, was joking on stage, pretending to introduce members of someone's family as he mugged for the camera. "Oh, your family has come to see you. You remember Bart, your oldest son, Jesse, the illiterate fag ...," Lewis said, as he apparently caught himself and ceased the gag in mid-sentence, turning on his...

Revealedix: the Gaul of Asterix was no joke By Justin Stares in Brussels, Sunday Telegraph> Last Updated: 12:17am BST 02/09/2007 Fighting with his bare fists, and massively outnumbered, France's cockiest Gaul, Asterix, led a brave rebellion against the Roman occupier. Not only was his little village encircled by Julius Cæsar's troops, it was up against an expanding empire - unequalled in the art of warfare and determined to civilise a backward people who worshipped druids and believed in magic potions. Or so it was thought until now. But a discovery in central France has led to a significant reassessment of...

Note: Some of the names of people in this article have been changed to protect their identities. Memphis, Tn - It is a typical Sunday morning for a man we will call John. He wakes up early, spends some time reading his Bible over a cup of coffee, prays, and then gets ready to go to church. Only for John, "going to church" doesn't mean the same thing as it does for everyone else who will be going there on this Sunday morning. About a year ago John joined a rather well known and a rather large Southern Baptist church...

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Fresh on the heels of Sen. Barack Obama's controversial remarks about military strikes against Pakistan, another US Presidential candidate has declared his intention to launch attacks on nations harboring terrorists. Longshot Democratic anti-war candidate Dennis Kuninich today announced that as President, one of his first actions would be to order military strikes on "terrorist targets" in the UK and Germany. "President Bush, in his misdirected obsession with Iraq, has ignored the real terrorist havens in London, Manchester, and Hamburg. As President, I will launch air strikes against these locations that harbor terrorists, from which they carried...

OLYMPIA, Wash. - An oral surgeon who temporarily implanted fake boar tusks in his assistant's mouth as a practical joke and got sued for it has gotten the state's high court to back up his gag. Dr. Robert Woo of Auburn had put in the phony tusks while the woman was under anesthesia for a different procedure. He took them out before she awoke, but he first shot photos that eventually made it around the office. The employee, Tina Alberts, felt so humiliated when she saw the pictures that she quit and sued her boss.

Washington, DC – Judicial Watch, the public interest group that investigates and prosecutes government corruption announced today that it filed a lawsuit on July 16, 2007 in U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia against the U.S. National Archives and Records Administration to obtain access to the following records from the Clinton Presidential Library: “First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton’s calendar, to include but not limited to her daily office diary, schedule, day planner, telephone log book, and chronological file.” The Archives, which operates and maintains Clinton Presidential Library records, failed to respond to Judicial Watch’s April 5, 2006 Freedom...

ST. LOUIS -- It's no laughing matter: a new study suggests older adults have a harder time getting jokes as they age. The research indicates that because older adults may have greater difficulty with cognitive flexibility, abstract reasoning and short-term memory, they also have greater difficulty with tests of humor comprehension. Researchers at Washington University tested about 40 healthy adults over age 65 and 40 undergraduate students with exercises in which they had to complete jokes and stories. Participants also had to choose the correct punch line for verbal jokes and select the funny ending to series of cartoon panels....

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve." The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the...

A once-in-a-lifetime lineup. A noble cause. Still on the fence about attending Saturday's Live Earth concert at Giants Stadium? Here is some information that may help you decide. What is Live Earth?

Mitt speaks of his "life long" experience with herding sheep.Click here for the video.