May 13, 2006 Berkeley, California Scooter's hamster, "Jumpy" died this week and Scoot's been taking it pretty hard. He came over drunk the other night and dragged me into a long, deep discussion on Heaven, Hell, and the meaning of life. He was obviously seeking assurance that Jumpy was in Heaven. I guess I shouldn't have told him Jumpy went to Hell because he pooped all over the coffee table, or made those sizzling noises and "hamster screams" like he was burning up, as Scooter got real hysterical and fell to his knees begging God to rescue Jumpy. I finally...